At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
