Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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