I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
