Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
