I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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