Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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