that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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