Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
