she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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