also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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