I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
