One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Shame - the story of my life.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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