i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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