Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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