yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
