that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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