Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
