what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
