paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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