I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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