we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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