They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
