I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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