Umm I'm too high to move.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
