carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
