We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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