pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
