One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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