Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
