i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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