This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
