I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
