just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
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