the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
