Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
