Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
