Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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