no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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