I just made out with a guy for $7.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
