I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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