Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
