Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
