girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
