Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
