Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
