twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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