Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
