Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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