I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
