There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
