Christians are straight up FREAKS
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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