I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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