Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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