please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
